Tag Archives: Confidence

Choose your attitude!


Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you’re chewing on life’s gristle
Don’t grumble, give a whistle
And this’ll help things turn out for the best…

Okay so life isn’t going the way you want it to but here’s the thing – we need to understand that we can’t always control what life throws at us but we can always choose how we react! We can always choose our attitude.

We are in constant dialogue with our inner self. That inner dialogue is just like a software program that is running through our brains and just like any software it can be programmed – the name of the software program is “Attitude”!

So have you programmed your software to predominantly respond positively or negatively?

Try this – the next time someone asks you “How you are doing?”; how did you respond? Positively…”I’m doing great”, “Brilliant”, Fantastic” or was it more neutral/negative… “I’m okay”, “Not too bad”, “Surviving”, “Meh!” etc.

The good news is that this is software so you can re-program a negative attitude so that it becomes a positive mental attitude. How?

Three simple steps: –

  1. LISTEN to your inner dialogue. Are you having a positive dialogue or is the dialogue full of self-pity, self-defeat and constantly blaming others for what is happening to you?
  2. STOP it! If the dialogue is negative then stop it!
  3. START a positive conversation with your inner self! “I can do this!”, “I’m doing great!”.

Okay, I lied, it may not be that simple because in reality the “Attitude” program can be difficult to change and may take time. Constant positive affirmation is key.  Keep telling yourself how good you are, how you can achieve anything if you want to, if you fail then that it is a great opportunity to learn, when you hit an obstacle its just an opportunity to find a way over, around it or under it etc….you get the picture!

Remember this is primarily an inner dialogue….there’s no need to keep telling others how good you are (even though you are, right!).

An inner dialogue it may be but positive mental attitude changes the way you engage with others, it alters your body language, it soon becomes noticeable and that in itself can lead to some very positive outcomes!

So when you next encounter something that doesn’t quite go your way in life what are you going to be saying to your inner self…

“It’s not fair!”, “I can’t win!”, “I never win!”

or perhaps…..

“What can I learn from this?”, “I can turn this around”, “Next time I’ll win!”

And….. “Always look on the bright side of life!”

I am not liked by everyone and I’m okay with that!

Lone WolfWe all like to be liked. We’re programmed that way, if we are liked by the pack the pack won’t turn on us, the pack will protect us. Some people will do anything to be liked even if this means compromising values, beliefs and standards just to please, just to be liked. But think about this…

We live in a diverse world. Nurture, environment and experiences will have shaped our view of the world. My nurture, environment and experience will be unique, as is yours and as is the other seven billion people that share our planet. So not everyone is going to agree with you and some people, if you reveal the real you, are not going to like you. So what can you do about it?

Option 1: Become a chameleon and change your views, your opinion, your standards to please as many people as you possibly can. But this option will not work 100% because you will soon be seen for what you are doing and that in itself will be cause for some to dislike you.

Option 2 : Just be yourself! You have an opinion, you have a voice. Develop and nurture yourself to be the best that you can be and if that causes someone to dislike you then that probably says more about them than you. You can still be tactful, diplomatic and even conciliatory but stay true to your core beliefs, standards and integrity. Also keep an open mind to constructive criticism and realise you still have lots to learn no matter how old or experienced you are.

Fact 1 : Some people will dislike you no matter what you do.

Fact 2 : If you worry and care too much about what others will think of you it will constrain your development as an individual and you will never reach your true potential.

Fact 3 : It’s okay to disagree with someone on many things and still like and respect them as an individual and for them to like and respect you. Chances are both of you have chosen option 2 and are emotionally intelligent!

Fact 4 : Compromising is often a positive thing to do but also sometimes taking an unpopular stance is just the right thing to do.

Fact 5 : If you can’t be yourself then you are nobody!

So if the above sounds simple, easy and obvious remember it isn’t, we are all wired to want to be liked and most of us worry too much about what others will think about us. So what if by being yourself the pack turns on you, stops protecting you? Sure you should reflect as to what it is about you that has caused the pack to turn on you but also consider this – maybe you are in the wrong pack!